Shadow Work

The Intimacy of Death + Dying (finding connection through grief + loss)

I feel privileged to meet people in their most intimate life moments.

You probably don’t know since I don’t often broadcast it, but in addition to the trauma and healing work I do with women, I also work a couple days outside the home as a grief counselor for a local hospice.

It’s interesting, because it seems like majority of people I connect with have a lot of hangups around death. And when I dig deeper, I see that happening on a collective level, societally among most Americans.

We don’t talk about it. We don’t plan for it. Act like it’s not happening. We run from it. We don’t call it what it is. We tell kids things like “grandpa just went to sleep” and then the kids are scared of sleep now.

The inability to get intimate with this cycle of life is pervasive.

It is not a statement of judgment–I mean, I get it. It sucks, especially when the loss feels premature, unjust, unfair.

And I get why we avoid the topic. Grief can feel like it’s going to kill you inside. It’s hard. Plus people say well-meaning, but hurtful things to us like, “Well… they’re in a better place now” or “It happened for a reason”.. Most people just don’t know *what* to say.

In my grief work, I’ve found that as hard as we find it to talk about our grief… there is something incredible that happens when we do!

We find “our people” and stop feeling like we’re doing this alone.

For me personally, that meant finding people who understood what it’s like to experience miscarriage & pregnancy loss.

This month being the anniversary of the loss of my May Baby, who was here for a little while & then just gone 👼🏾

I talk about it and remember because nobody else does. And it’s not their job to remember, right? But that feeling of being able to talk about the death, and to talk about what happened is so liberating.

For you it might be talking about the death of a parent, or a spouse, or a pet. No death is “worse” than the other, except for the one that’s happening to you. It’s all hard. And all worth talking about.

My clients & families I work with in their grief would agree.

I urge you if you’re suffering, to give yourself permission to stop keeping your grief to yourself… and when you’re ready, and if it feels right, to try talking to someone about it.

These conversations are important. Find your people. Andif you can’t find someone in your circle, then make a bigger circle.

Give yourself permission.

Anyways…. my love to you all.

If you or someone you know needs help with this, please reach out. I may not be your “person” but I am happy to point you in a direction.


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